Getting Kids to Sit at the Table

At 3 years of age, my son spent more time under the dinner table than sitting still and eating. It didn't matter if we were out in public or at home, he would spend all of dinner time under the table and I would spend half of dinner time with my head under the table trying to coax him out. I was frustrated. I wanted dinner to be a time that we would all gather around the table and enjoy a meal, not  unsuccessfully trying to correct improper behavior. 

I started to think back on my own childhood. I could not remember a time when I would horse around at dinner. Then I started to ask myself why. What made me want to sit with my family and eat? I began reminiscing about dinners at my Grandparent's house. 

My Grandmother always set the table. She had placemats for breakfast and lunch and tablecloths for dinner. In between meals a doily with a bowl of fruit sat on the table. She took time to set a place for each person. My sister and I would help and feel important about any "big" chore that she gave us. Every meal and person was honored in such a manner. Setting the table actually set the stage for family gatherings and  helped transitioon from play time to a more relaxed meal time. Such a setting also displayed th bountiful platters and bowls of food, reinforcing the notion of paying respect to the person who took such an effort to prepare it and to the food itself. 

The light bulb went off in my head. I needed to show respect to the time honored tradition by setting the place for each person, this sending the  signal about their importance family dinner time. The transition from play to focusing on eating and family is evident by the ritual of setting a table and growing the anticipation of the meal to come. In my retrospection I realized that without this ritual, I wasn't giving mealtime its due. No wonder my 3 year old suddenly switch gears from play to sitting still at a table. 

Setting the table worked. Not the first day, but eventually dinner was held on the top side of the table and not underneath,  We now  sit at the table together and talk our day. Dinner time is less stressful, and I am grateful for the example that was given to me years ago.  Next moutain to climb is to get my son to eat vegetables.